Courage is not the absence of Fear
by secretshipper
Summary: The story of Lily Evans through the last years of her life, especially how she copes with the war and how she thrice defied LV. Starts from 1/2 way through 7th year till that fateful halloween. JPLE. Canon.
1. Ch 1: A Surprising moment

**Courage is Not the Absence of Fear**

**Ch. 1: A Surprising Encounter**

Lily glanced at her watch. It gleamed eleven o'clock by the candlelight. She had to finish this essay for charms the next day. It was not like the Head Girl to leave her homework this late, especially not charms; her favourite subject, but after the week she had had...

Lily shook her head in guilt, dispelling self-pitying thoughts. There were people having a much worse week than her. The man whom the Daily Prophet had taken to calling 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named' had been wrecking havoc up and down the country, targetting those were unfit, in their minds, to belong to the wizarding world. Flith, Mudbloods, Blood-traitors...the taunting words of the Slytherins rang in her ears. Facing the cowardly, immature students of the least liked house was, however a completely different matter to facing Dark Wizards...

Lily had become thin and pale from worry, from the constant dread in her stomach when she sat down at breakfast, that she would open the paper and familiar eyes would meet hers. That the people she knew and loved would be dead.

She was safe within Hogwarts. Within the confines of the stone wall and protective enchantments. Even the Slytherins would never _really_ hurt her. A small part of her wanted to believe that it was because of Severus, but she wouldn't allow herself to think that. He was no better than the rest of them...

With a groan, she crossed out another word on her parchment. She threw down her quill and stuffed the parchment into her bag angrily. She could try to convince herself that she was paranoid. Yet, as soon as she had forgotten, there would be another...incident. Another student to comfort as they trembled helplessly at the disappearences of their relatives.

What could _she _say? To the thirteen year old, whose father had been killed for not accepting bribes to corrupt the Ministry.

She stretched her legs and got up to return 'Protective Charms for the Wandless' to the shelf behind her. Turning, she caught sight of Sirius Black sitting dejectedly in a near-by table. Lily paused, the book half raised towards the shelf.

It was very uncharacteristic for Sirius to be sitting alone, not surrounded by his friends or one of his many girlfriends, let alone in he library. Lily snorted humourlessly, she wasn't aware he even knew where the library was. It was cruel to laugh at him, while sat there looking so...upset. Lily chided herself.

She couldn't _not_ as him if he was alright. She had been getting along much better with the marauders since James was made Head Boy.

To her surprise, in the past few months, she had found herself spending time with them. In classes, at the Prefect Meetings, even in the common rooms. (Was it coincidence that while Transfiguration was Lily's weakest subject, all the four friends seemed to excel at it?)

They weren't so bad, once you got to know them really...with their pranks and their silly nicknames. Besides, Professor MacGonagall had warned her that her position as Head Girl would be threatened if there were any petty fights between the two.

To his credit, James had attentively done all his duties without complain and he somehow managed to fit in Quidditch twice weekly in his schedule too. He was quite nice, once you got past the cocky, arrogant, infuriating front.

She sighed, setting the book onto the shelf and approached Sirius nervously. She cleared her throat when she reached his table. Sirius looked up at her, swiftly, before, staring apathetically at his hands again.

'Are you alright, Sirius?' she asked, rather nervous to see him so out of character. He gave an evasive shrug.

'Sirius,' she encouraged, quieter, softer

'James got a letter from home,' he muttered, 'His mother-.' He fell silent as Lily gasped, seating herself next to him.

'She hasn't...passed on yet, but they say she won't make it through the night.' His face crumpled as he fought back tears.

'Where is James now?'

'Flooed home just now.' Sirius buried his face in his hands,'MacGonagall said that it would draw too much attention if I went with him too.'

'Are you alright?' she asked again, stupidly. Of course he wasn't alright. He was taking this awfully hard on himself.

'I just need to see James,' he mutered through his hands, 'Evelyn's been ill for a while now but...it wasn't supposed to be so soon..'

Unsure of what to say, she patted him. Sirius was staring at his hands again. They sat in silence for a while, and Sirius interrupted her thoughts again.

'James is going to be devastated.' His face contorted as a lone tear slid down his sharp nose. His banged his fist on the table, making Lily jump in surprise. 'James was so close to Evelyn.'

Lily didn't know that Sirius had been so close to the Potters. It was a revelation to see Sirius so concerned for his friend. She was a popular girl, no doubt. She had many good friends, but she couldn't imagine being _this_ devastated if anything were to happen to someone they knew. Her thoughts flew to Snape, but she quickly shook of the memory.

'I didn't realise you were so close to the Potters.'

'I _live_ with them, Lily.' his voice turned low and cold. Lily blushed, cursing herself inwardly.

'Oh Sirius, I'm sorry.' She looked sheepish,' I just forgot in the rush-'

'Ha!' He let out a humourless, barklike laugh, 'How lucky for you.'

Lily's eyes widened and she made to stand. She clearly didn't seem to be helping, perhaps it'd be better if she simply left him alone. He reach out and grabbed her hand.

'Sorry.' She could tell he meant it. 'Just...sit me, please?' Lily sat back down and glanced at him nervously. She had heard from Remus that Sirius had run away to the Potters last christmas, but she didn't know much more.

'I don't miss them,' Sirius began quietly. 'I don't need them. They don't need me either. It's not like they felt any affection for me...James, The Potters. They are my real family.' Lily wsn't sure if Sirius was still aware of her presence anymore. He was muttering rapidly to himslef. She cleared her throat timidly and he looked up, surprised to see her there. His steely grey eyes were dark and stormy. His gaze seemed to pierce her but she dared not look away.

'I had to get away from them,' he whispered desperately, 'You don't know what they're like. They're _mad. Completely apeshit crazy!'_

She bagan to protest weakly but he cut her off, 'Do you know, Lily? When I left, not a single on of those bastards lifted a finger to stop me leaving?' His voice cracked as his eyes gazed far past her, 'Not even my brother.'

Lily supressed a sob. Of course she knew how is felt to have a sibling who hated you. A sibling is whom's eyes you did even exist. The last time she had seen her sister, they hadn't exchanged more than a handful of words between them. They fell silent, each lost in their respective thoughts.

When Lily glanced at her watch she was surprised to find it nearing midnight. As they made their way back to the Gryffindor tower, Sirius caught her elbow, turning her to face him.

'Thanks for listening.'

She gave a small smile, 'Happy to help'.

_'_If you tell anyone I cried...I'll have you kill you.' Lily laughed but nodded quickly when he stared back, quite serious. '...and would you help us look after him a bit...just looking out for him at Prefect Meetings and on Patrols.'

She agreed enthusiastically. 'Thanks, you could 'cheer him up' so much better than we ever could.' And with a mischevious glint in his eyes, he bid her good night and disappeared through the portrait hole.

_'Prat!_'

_Yay! I've finally edited this and I really like it! So I hope you do too! I think (hope) the grammar is correct now and that the conversation flows much better! It's actually a bit longer than the original chapter but I hope it works well! _

_So, please, Read and Review!!_


	2. Ch 2: A Sudden Flutter

**Courage is not the absence of Fear**

**Ch. 2 A Sudden Flutter**

The following Sunday, the grey clouds over the school finally broke, allowing the students the first day of relished sunshine in the year. Marlene's shriek awoke her that morning.

'Lily! Mary!...Look, SUN!' Marlene, normally a calm, collected girl was positively giddy at the weather. While Mary threw her pillow at Marlene and ducked back under the covers, Lily forced a smile and pulled Marlene down for breakfast.

She didn't eat well. Today was the day of Mrs Potters' funeral.

And, Lily was nervous.

Having spent roughly the past six years, screaming her throat hoarse at James, their friendship was still rather casual, since he was made head boy. They exchanged pleasantries and shared a few innocent private jokes, but Lily never got rid of the feeling that they were tip toeing around each other, eager to please each other.

She really did want to be a good friend to James, however much Marlene laughed when she told her. These were difficult times for the wizarding world. A true friend was hard to come by, and after seeing Sirius and James, a small part of Lily craved for the same bond.

So, that night, she sat in the common room, under the pretext of finishing her potions essay, late into the night.

'Lily?' called Marlene, not for the first time that day, 'Are you alright? You've had your head in the clouds all day!'

Lily shook her head, 'I'm fine, just preoccupied' Marlene rolled her eyes, as if to say, 'obviously'. She sat next to her, slamming down the Evening Prophet.

'Read this,' she said pushing the paper toward her, 'Latest news confirms that Giants and Werewolves_ have_ joined ranks with 'He-who-must-not-be-named'. It is suspected that the followers have been bolstered by their allies, since no less that seven 'Dark Marks' were shot up around the country today.  
Aurors and Obiviators have been working around the clock but have only recovered one person alive from all seven sites. Bartemius Crouch has restricted access to journalists to the Auror office and all ministry officials have been forbidden from giving statements due to safety reasons.  
An anonymous Healer has confirmed that 'Survivor X' is alive although in a critcal condition...' Marlene looked up with wide eyes, 'Do you think this 'survivor' of bitten?'

'Maybe,' Lily whispered, 'but, Lycanthropy isn't the end of the world, Marlene. Herbologists have nearly prefected this wolfsbane potion.'

'Either way, this isn't good, Lily. Giants, Werewolves, Death Eaters; the more followers You-know-who has, the worse it is for us.' The two girls fell silent.

'I'm going to bed. Are you coming?' Lily declined pointing to her potions books.

Waving her goodnight, she left for the dorms. Leaving Lily, sitting alone, surrounded by her untouched books, to watch the fire burn down.

She must have dozed off, as the next thing she remembers is the sound of the portrait hole swinging open. The sky was dark outside, and the only light, came from the fire. The four boys stepped in quietly, each wearing a sombre expression.

In the firelight, James looked pale and the bags under his eyes were even more prominent. Sirius caught sight of her first.

'Um...Hi,' Lily said quietly, not missing the quick furtive glances Sirius sent James. 'I just had some potions to finish' she said, waving a hand over her books, which she realised were still closed.

'Did you finish it?' James asked, his voice low and hoarse.

She shook her head, still trying to assess how he was.

'No, I fell asleep.' His eyes were bloodshot and he seemed to be shaking. She sighed, collecting her books, 'Hope you are alright, James.'

He nodded, absent minded, as he made his way over to the boys staircase.

'I will be.'

Sirius lagged behind, as they ascended the staircase, and cast a grateful nod from the doorway.

* * *

Since then, Lily found herself spending more and more time with the marauders. She made a conscious effort to give James an encouraging smile when she passed him, to laugh at his jokes and, sometimes to just sit him after prefect meetings, talking about all sort of things, should he feel the need to vent.

Before she knew it, the weeks had begun to fly past and they were thrown into April. The wizarding world was still at war and not a week went past without news of horrific murders splashed across the front page of the Prophet.

In between the moments, she was gripped by an almost paralysing fear for her family, she was happy. She was happy when a week after his mothers' funeral, James smiled as she wished him good morning, when he laughed at Peter and Sirius 'fighting', when he finally cracked a joke (albeit a bad joke), but cheering him up suddenly became second nature to her.

It was no longer conscious thought that she noticed when he smiled, when he laughed, when he needed to talk. It just happened.

She found herself watching the four men, seated across the common room from her. She had to admit, the past month had completely caught her off guard. Sirius had not once forced James presence upon her, yet Lily found herself willingly spending time with him. Lily realised, in the marauders, Lily had found loyal friends. They accepted her, much to the irritation of their many groupies, into their group.

Sirius, with his constant exuberance, Peter, with his easy innocence, Remus, with his intelligent humour and James, Merlin knows by no means least, she had found someone, so willing to let her talk, to make her smile, to look out for her. It scared her, how much he cared. She thought of lying in the dappled green woods with Snape and Lily shook her head vaguely, dispelling the thoughts.

With James, it was _not _the same thing. Falling back to reality, she caught sight of James watching her with a confused expression. In fact, all four of them were. Lily realised that she must have been staring intently at them while she day dreamed.

Lily let out a nervous snort of laughter, and waved, returning quickly to her work, bowing her head, to hide the sudden blush that rose to her cheeks. Something fluttered in her stomach, which scared her even more.

* * *

_aloha! _

_Tried to slow things down a bit, and pay more attention to descriptions and feelings in this chapter. I hope it worked. _

_With Regards to Lily and Sev, in DH, JK said that Snape was an impressive figure (or words to that effect) so I figured that as a young girl, Lily must have felt something for him, though I do not think she would have ever gone out with Snape. icky_

_It has been edited and checked for grammar!_

_So please Read and Review. n Sorry for this uber long A/N!_


	3. Ch 3: A Moment Alone

**Courage is not the absence of Fear**

**Ch. 3: A Moment Alone**

The Gryffindor common room was empty except for the lone figure hunched on the seat next to the fire. Her face was hidden by a sheet of fiery hair. The only light came from the fire; its flames cast their dancing light across the paper clutched in her hand.

'It would only be prudent of me to inform you that Vernon and I are getting married. Naturally, you are invited. I can only ask that you do not bring that _awful boy. _There is also the matter of your _problem. _Do we _have_ to tell Vernon about _you lot_?

Pet.'

Enclosed with the note had been an unsigned wedding invitation. Lily stared at the note, anger and unhappiness bubbling in her stomach. Did Petunia hate her so much that she wouldn't even deign to write her name? Lily hadn't asked to come into this world. She didn't have any choice but to enter a world where some people wanted her dead for just walking in the same corridor as them.

The seat next to her depressed as James sank into it.

'Couldn't sleep?' She shook her head, feeling her lower lip tremble. He motioned the note in her hand, 'What's that?'

'My sister's wedding invite'

'You have a sister?' the surprise, and a tinge of hurt, was evident in his voice, 'I never knew.'

'Well, we aren't very close. Infact, I don't think she even wants me there,' she laughed, humourlessly, hating the way her voice cracked. Tears sprung to her eyes as an unbidden memory flashed in her mind.

* * *

_Lily trailed after her big sister in their garden, holding Petunia's tea-towel 'veil'. Throwing a handful of pretty flowers to the skies, the sisters fell giggling to the ground._

_The younger one shuffled to Petunia, looking anxious._

_'Tuney,' she asked nervously,' Even after you get married...you'll still love me the mostest won't you?' Her startling green eyes bore into her sister._

_'Always the mostest, Lily', Petunia laughed, cuddling her sister, 'Forever an' ever'_

Lily angrily dashed at the tears that spilled down her pale cheek. James attentively placed a handkerchief in her palm, fingers closing briefly, comfortingly, around hers before he withdrew. Lily sighed and leant back into the couch.

'I'm sorry, James.' She gave him a weak smile.

'No, I didn't mean to upset you,' James rectified quickly, 'but if you want to talk...I'm here.' His voice was low, serious and kind. It sent a chill down her spine. Damn it, she cursed herself as more tears slid down her cheek.

'I don't know what to say, James. I can't remember the last time my sister actually spoke to me. She hates magic...She hates this whole world,' she sobbed, 'She hates me...because I'm a witch.'

She fell silent, leaning unconsciously into him. He encouraged her to go on.

'If you could go back in time, would you decline your Hogwarts letter?' Lily looked up at him with surprise.

'No! I mean I belong to Hogwarts; to this world. I am a _witch._ Besides, if I hadn't come, the accidental magic could have really hurt them, MacGonagall said. And now, I can protect them...I guess with the wizarding world, it's one or the other. I can't pretend that it's not strange to not see magic when I go back for the holidays.'

She gave a dejected sigh, and gave a weak grimace to James. He watched her with such concern in his eyes that a blush raised to her cheeks. She shook her head weakly, 'I just...wish there was some way I could have both', and felt more tears slide down her face.

'I'm sorry about your sister.'

She gave a dispondent shrug, 'It's not your fault.'

Her breath caught in her throat as he gently wiped the tears with his thumb, and she could feel his heart racing. He whispered, so low, that she had to lean in to hear him, 'Lily, I can't tell you how to solve your problem, but if it's any consolation, _I _am so glad that I've met you. Hogwarts wouldn't be the same without yo-'

Lily looked up and the emerald green met hazel, clearly relected in the firelight. They both simultaneously became aware of just how close they were. They drew back from each other, and Lily stood abruptly.

'I...I'm sorry,' she stammered breathlessly and bolted to her dorm without a backward glance.

The room was silent except for the breaths of her sleeping roommates. The moon shed a pale glow across the room. The moon was no more that a sliver. She stood, staring at it, arms wrapped tightly around her, trying valiantly to forget the golden hazel of _his_ eyes.

* * *

The stone walls of the corridor glowed red as the setting sun cast its dying light.

James and Lily were walking down a corridor on one of their many patrols. Lily was acutely aware of James walking beside her. Their hands would touch slightly as they walked. He was walking far too close to her.

'James,' she turned to him, her stomach turning. Before she could continue, she was cut off by James firmly placing his lips to hers. She tensed in shock before sinking into his arms, sinking into the blissful oblivion of this kiss.

She felt her chest constrict, as he pressed her closer to him. Closer and closer and closer...till she spluttered awake, to find herself nose to nose with Marlene's cat, Cassandra, who was sitting uncomfortably on her chest.

Lily angrily pushed the cat off. She fell on her paws with a hiss of irritation and scampered out of the dorms. Lily fell back to bed, her heart pounding. That dream had seemed so real, so vivid. She lay staring at the canopy of her bed, forcing herself to think of other things.

Failing to forget the dream, and too afraid to go back to sleep, she pushed off her covers and stomped to the Great Hall.

Sitting at the far end of the table, she poured herself a goblet of pumpkin juice. It was just a stupid dream. Lily took divination for a year, and hated it but had learned enough to know dreams had _no significance._ Lily, absent mindedly, dropped her goblet, sending a bright orange liquid stain the white tablecoth.

'Tergeo,' said Marlene, sitting next her, 'Lily, I'll ask once more. Are you alright?'

'Yes,' Lily said, overly cheerfully, pulling a strained smile at her, 'Why wouldn't I be?'

'Well,' said Marlene thoughtfully, 'You've been distracted and hazy for the past month. I can't remember the last time you went to sleep at a reasonable hour and you ditch your friends to spend time the Marauders! The Marauders, for heaven sake, Lils! If I didn't know any better,' she paused for, what Lily suspects she thought was, dramatic effect, 'I'd say that you...that you like-'

'No!' Lily said, vigorously shaking her head, unable to explain the fear and exhilaration in her stomach at the thought, 'I just have a lot of things on my mind.' Marlene sighed and it pained Lily to see the sadness in her eyes.

'Lily, I am here for you, Mary and I, if you ever need to talk...'

Lily threw her arms around her friend, 'Marlene, I do know! I'm sorry, but trust me. I am fine.'

Marlene chuckled and patted her, 'Never a happy-middle with you and your feelings is it?'

Lily thought of James, and really had to agree.

* * *

_Sorry, had a bit of a block with this chapter but it's finally done! I quite like it though I don't expect everyone will. _

_But please read and review as I really appreiciate all your comments._

_And, this chapter is dedicated to Clarence, my very own Marlene...that's so cheesy. I know! but it was her advice which finally inspired this chapter!_

_I have edited it...because Lily sounded a bit unatural before. I think it's improved now..._


	4. Ch 4: A New Start

**Courage is not the absence of Fear**

**Ch 4: A New Start**

Thankfully, James did not mention the incident in the common room at all for the next couple of days. Lily had caught him sending worried glances in her direction throughout their lesson. This had left her with an almost permanent blush staining her cheeks. Marlene had politely asked her if she had been sun burnt in the recent good weather.

The dreams continued to plague her nights, although Lily had stopped waking up in panic after a couple of nights. In short, after six and a half extremely long years, Lily finally admitted to herself that perhaps, maybe she liked James Potter...a little.

Just as she realised this, another realisation swept over her, James had not asked her out all year.

She spent another day sleeplessly racking her brain to remember the last time he had.

* * *

_It had been on the way back to London at the end of sixth year. James, and by extension Sirius had strutted into their compartment._

_'Get out,' Lily said coldly, staring at James._

_'Huh,' he snorted, 'Perhaps we didn't come to see you, Evans.' Lily raised her eyebrow at him, 'Go out with me, please?'_

_Lily stared incredulously at him for nearly a whole minute, 'GET OUT!' As they left, Lily distinctly heard Sirius' voice._

_'You know Prongs, that time, she didn't technically say no.'_

_'Black,' Lily shouted threateningly. 'I will not go out with him!' She screamed, sticking her head out of the compartment door._

_The two boys simultaneously broke into a run, guffawing with laughter. James even had the audacity to turn and wink at her before disappearing into his compartment..._

* * *

Chuckling, she flung her self into the seat beside Marlene. One advantage of not speaking to the Marauders was that Lily finally got to spend some quality time with her best friend.

'You look awful' she informed, glancing up from the newspaper she was reading.

'Thank you' Lily said with a grimace, brushing her fingers over the deep bags under her eyes, 'I just haven't been sleeping well.' She glanced at Marlene, who was patiently waiting for her to say more. Lily took a deep breath.

'Marly.._I..IthinkIlikePotterLikeLIKEhim' _she blurted out, burying her face in Marlene's shoulder. When Marlene didn't reply, she peeked at her and was surprised to find her smiling.

'Finally' she said simply.

* * *

The two girls sat curled up on Lily's bed with a stack of chocolate frogs between them. Marlene was finally letting the news sink in, in a rather stunned silence.

'When-'

'I don't know.'

'What made you-'

'I don't know.'

'But how-'

'Oh Marlene,' sighed Lily, flopping onto her back on the bed, 'I really don't know why I like him, when I realised I like him, why it happened. Does it even matter?'

Marlene chewed her lip, 'I guess not. One last question though, what is stopping you storming down, right now, and snogging his face off?'

Lily let out a reluctant laugh; Marlene was not known to beat around the bush. She answered simply.

'Fear,' Marlene stared at her like she had suddenly turned into a piece of cheese.

'Of what?'

'Rejection, Marlene,' snapped Lily, 'It's not as easy as marching down and 'snogging his face off'.'

'Rejection?', Marlene repeated. Lily could see her trying very hard not to roll her eyes, 'From Potter? Are we still talking about the boy who has been pursuing you for the past four years?'

'What about this year?' Lily persisted, 'He hasn't asked me out _all year._'

'Lily,' Marlene sighed, 'I can't tell you what to do, but if you really think that what you feel for James is strong enough, you should tell him. He would want to know.'

'...But all year.' Lily sighed, picking at the edge of her duvet.

'Oh my god, Evans,' cried Marlene, 'All I know is that if you have liked someone for three year straight, you are not going to stop having any feeling for them in two months over the summer.'

'But-' Lily was quietened by Marlene literally stuffing a chocolate frog in her mouth. Spluttering and coughing, Lily spat it out and whacked Marlene playfully on her arm; green eyes streaming with tears.

'I didn't think you would choke!' Marlene laughed, 'Honestly Lils, look, I can fit...ahg...whol...chocla...fo-' Marlene stuffed an entire frog in her mouth and looked at Lily proudly, mouth clamped shut.

The girls burst into laughter, which ended up with a lot of mashed chocolate frog spraying Lily's bed.

* * *

The next morning, their happy blissfulness crashed as more vicious news hit them from the outside world.

Marlene and Lily had just entered the Great Hall for breakfast. Professor McGonagall had descended upon them the minute she saw them.

'Miss Rivers, Miss Evans, pleases come with me,' she said, her jaw set in gritty way. Lily's blood ran cold. Something was terribly wrong.

Once they were seated in professor McGonagall office, Marlene caught her eye, each girl trembling, tears already sitting in their eyes.

'Marlene,' the professor began in a gentle voice, 'I'm so sorry. Your cousin, Clarissa and her fiancé, Robert –'

'No...'wailed Marlene, 'No. No. No. What has happened to them? Are they alright? Are they in Mungo's?' Tears were falling fast from her eyes.

'Marlene, they are de-...we were too late,' McGonagall sighed and dashed at her eyes as Marlene slumped into Lily, sobbing. Lily didn't brush away the tears that fell from her eyes either. She had known Clarissa. She often visited in the summer when Lily was there. Marlene and she were very close despite a seven year age gap.

Lily, unconsciously let out a small breath of relief. Not that she would ever, ever wish this on her friend, but she was so relieved that it wasn't her, slumped on Marlene. She cursed herself. How could she be so selfish?

They spent the day together, Marlene, hiccupping and sobbing while Lily soothingly held her hand or helped her pack a few essentials to take home for a few days.

Marlene flooed from their head of houses' fireplace, at eight o'clock that night; her eyes red and swollen, Lily headed for the one place she went to seek solace and comfort, the lake.

Although dusk was approaching, signalling curfew, she slumped on the base of a tree and rested her head on her knees, thankfully for the cool breeze wafting around her.

Life is so fickle, she thought sadly. Clarissa was only twenty five, about to be married, and it was all whisked away. No one knew what this 'Voldemort' was thinking anymore. No one was safe, pure, half or muggleborn.

She'll have to go to Petunia's wedding, she thought resolutely. Whether Petunia liked it or not, Lily was her sister. What if Lily died and never saw her family again. She brushed at the tears which formed; she didn't think she would have many left.

Lily heard footsteps approaching and knew who it was without even turning. James sat next to her and they were both silent for a while.

'How are you?' James asked, his voice, low and soft like on the night in the common room.

Lily nodded, 'Marlene's cousin-'

'I heard.'

Lily shivered at his voice; it was so tempting to sink into his shoulder. She thought about poor Clarissa and Robert. They were meant to marry and have a long happy life together. At least they had had what little time they could together.

This is war Lily; it's either now or never. Who knows, tomorrow may never come. She turned her head slightly, so that James was in her line of vision. She took a deep breath, controlling the almost constant, nowadays, fear in her stomach.

'James,' he looked at her; his hazel eyes piercing, 'Why?' she cast her eyes around wildly, was she really doing this _now! _'Why don't you ask me out anymore?'

James stared at her, his mouth falling open, comically. She blushed furiously and began to apologise profusely.

'I think,' he interrupted her; 'It was because I didn't want our prefects to feel uncomfortable, and because it was what they expected so I thought I'd confuse them, for laughs. And, of course, I didn't want you to hex my ear off again. I am quite fond of them.'

Lily let out a small snort of laughter, something she didn't think she would do for a long time this morning. She hadn't really meant to hex his ears _off_; she had performed some accidental magic in their third year when she caught James eavesdropping on her conversation.

They fell into silence again, and then James suddenly remembered her question.

'Why did you want to know though?'

'Well,' Lily stammered, 'I really need a...a date for my sister's wedding.'

* * *

_I thought that we may have forgotten about the war so you know...poor Marlene (n.b yeah her second name is Rivers. Trust I know where I'm going with this, ok?)_

_I hope you likey...Please Read and Review whether you did or did not because I really do want to improve..._

_ps. A new start was my longest chapter yet. huzzah!_


	5. Ch 5: A Medley

**Courage is not the Absence of Fear**

**Ch.5: A Medley **

Lily carefully zipped up the elegant green dress. It was a simple but well cut; clinging to her waist, slipping off her hips and cascading to her knees. She fingered the material, smiling appreciatively as it caught the light. Lily didn't know what it was but it shimmered like satin and it was as soft as velvet. It felt so light and yet it fell neatly to her knees in graceful folds.

There was a strange sensation in her stomach. Nervousness, yes, but no fear: Excitement. She thought about the past five weeks. They were the happiest she could remember in her time at Hogwarts.

* * *

James stared at her, with his mouth hanging comically open. Lily could understand that one would be shocked if the girl who had repeatedly rejected for the past three years suddenly asked you out, but he had been simply _staring at her for the past ten minutes. _She laughed nervously and prodded him in the knee.

'Say _something_,' she said.

'What did you just say?'

'Say some-'

'Before that!'

'Oh,' she laughed, staring out across the lake; her hair hid her face.

'Are you asking me...for a date? Like a...a boyfriend-girlfriend date?'

'Well, it's for my sister's wedding. I have to bring a guest.' His face fell like a ton of bricks, 'but, after _that_, yeah.'

'Huh?' This was the stupidest conversation she had ever had with James Potter, which was quite amazing if you had heard some of the things he's said in the past.

'I, Lily Evans, will go out with you, James Potter.'

* * *

A week later, as they rose from the Gryffindor table, James caught her from behind whispering in her ear, 'Have fun in Herbology.' Marlene stared with a bemused expression at the two of them.

'I keep forgetting that he's allowed to do that now. I keep expecting you to hex him, Lily,' she said, a tinge of regret evident in her tone.

'Trust me; you are a surprised as I am.'

* * *

'Can we have little party for Moony on Friday night?' The Marauders had her surrounded in the library.

'Why?' she asked suspiciously, readily preparing reasons as to why they shouldn't.

'It's Moony's birthday!' Sirius said, in a tone that cleared asked her to defy him.

'Well, that's very nice but-'

'Please Lily, I promise, we'll keep it tame,' James supplied, playing gently with her hair, giving her a little smile.

'Fine,' she sighed, as Remus and Peter high fived, 'but only if it starts after the first curfew is over. I don't want the eleven to fourteen year olds tied up in your antics.'

'We are invincible,' Sirius hooted, smugly, 'Lily's on the Marauder's side now.'

* * *

James and Lily were the last people in the common room after Remus' birthday party. To his credit, James had stopped Sirius getting drunk and had stopped two third years sneaking down after curfew to join in.

'Pumpkin pasty?' James offered. Lily took it thoughtfully.

'How did you manage to get all this food from the kitchens without being seen?' She looked up to find his eyes twinkling.

'Do you promise not to freak out?' _Oh no!_ She thought.

'Is it legal?' He ignored her, bolting up to his dormitory. He came back holding...something.

'What is it?' she asked curiously feeling the strange, silvery material, 'an invisibility cloak?!'

'Family heirloom,' he said proudly, throwing it around her.

* * *

Lily sat alone in the common room, one Saturday afternoon, waiting for James to return from Quiditch practice. The portrait swung up and James strode in and flung himself into the seat next to her.

'Hey, just finished the patrol rota. We aren't on till Thursday,' she said, eliciting no response from him except for a slight nod of his head. 'What's wrong?'

'I just ran into Snape and Mulciber tormenting a little second-year muggleborn. I docked fifteen points from Slytherin, but God! What is wrong with those bastards? The child was nearly in tears when I found them.' Lily rubbed his arm, gently. She was so sick of Snape. How could he think that she wouldn't hear about the thing he did? How dare he face her and ask for her forgiveness?

* * *

They patrolled, hand in hand, in a comfortable silence. As James and Lily turned onto the fourth floor corridor, as sound from a nearby classroom caught their attention. James pressed a finger to his lips, pulling his invisibility cloak over the two of them.

A voice Lily instantly recognised as Snape's whispered, 'Avery, you git, we are lucky Potter only docked points.'

'So, the mudblood deserved it...disgusting thing. Do you know what it said to me?'

'Leave it!' ordered Snape, '_You _don't want Potter on your back.'

'Oh' scoffed Avery, 'Just because you're afraid of Potter.' There was loud bang and a yelp of pain. James ducked out of the invisibility cloak and burst into the room, followed by Lily. Avery lay against the back wall with blood dribbling down his chin while Snape faced him; wand raised.

'Well, isn't this a cosy little gathering, Snivellius?' he asked casually but his eyes were dark with anger; his jaw was rigid. Snape looked past him, at Lily with wide eyes. 'You are right, you're lucky I only docked points last time. Get out, both of you. We'll speak to Slughorn tomorrow.'

'Lily,' Snape whispered hoarsely. Lily determinedly avoided his eyes, anger sickeningly bubbling in her stomach.

'Fifteen points from Slytherin!' Avery pulled Snape out, casting both of them dark glares.

Lily stood still, chest heaving with laboured breaths. That was her friend...her best friend who she had spent infinite days with. The betrayal still stung two years later. She felt James moved towards her.

'Are you alright?' he murmured enveloping her in his arms. She nodded mutely against his shoulder.

'I just can't believe I was friends with him.'

'You didn't know...you didn't know.' He leant down; lips brushing over hers gently. No, she thought sadly, she hadn't known her best friend at all.

* * *

'Humph,' she sulked throwing herself into the chair next to James in the 'Three Broomsticks', where he sat with the Marauders, ''Gladrags' are being such a pain. All I asked them was 'Do you make muggle suits?' You should have heard them, James.' She blew her fringe out of her face, '_Muggle Suits! Why! Why would you need Muggle suits?'_ she mimicked, sipping James' butterbeer.

'My girlfriend is so pretty when she's angry,' he laughed, proudly to Sirius. Lily rolled her eyes and swatted him on his arm.

'James, it's been a month. You can call me Lily now. _Everybody _knows I'm your girlfriend!'

'Oh, I'm telling everybody,' he laughed. 'Excuse good sir,' he called the man sitting on the next table, 'Did you know that this young lady is my girlfriend?' Lily blushed, burying her face on James' shoulder.

'Congratulation m'boy,' the wizard said well naturedly, 'She's a pretty lass.'

* * *

A week later, is where we found Lily, gazing into the mirror, in her beautiful green dress. Marlene curled the final strand of her hair and rested her chin of Lily's shoulder.

'You look so beautiful.'

'Thank you,' smiled Lily, turning to hug her friend, 'and thank you for curling my hair! I love it.' She tugged a strand of the normally poker straight auburn hair and laughed.

'Well, better hurry up Lily, you'll be late.' She descended the stairs animatedly, to find James leaning by the fire, looking so dashing in a neat black suit. Well, looks like Gladrags did alright afterall...

* * *

_Hehe the working title of this chapter was 'A month of Fluff'...because it was just a random little chapter of cutesy..ish moments of JPLE. Did you like it? I'm not very good at writing up fluff so I'm sorry but I quite like this chapter._

_To Lexie-H, Hi! Thank you for all the advice! In the future, I will use italics when we go into flashbacks, it's just that most of this chapter was a flashback so I didnt want to put italics in!_

_n Hi Clarence! Hope you likey! _

_Again please read and review!!_


	6. Ch 6: An Impertinant Reply

**Courage is Not the Absence of Fear**

**Ch 6: An Impertinant Reply**

Professor MacGonagall looked up as they entered her office. She looked rather like a deer caught in headlights for a moment before she cleared her throat briskly.

'Alright, Mr Potter, Miss Evans you can perform the patronus charms, correct? Be alert and let us know if anything..._anything_ feels unsafe.' They nodded and the Professor gave a terse smile. 'Well, if that's all, you may go.'

Lily stepped out of the fireplace in a church near Lily's house. She brushed down her dress and turned to see James step out behind her.

'You look great,' she said pleasantly, brushing away some soot on his cheek, 'Now, please, behave yourself. Do _not _try and annoy Petunia on her wedding day.'

'Oh I'm sorry, Miss Evans, but I might not be able to help myself.' He gave a wicked grin and offered his arm. Petunia looked utterly flustered at the sight of them. She cast nervous glances at the other wedding guests and eyed James like he was about to hex them all. Actually, knowing James Potter, Petunia had good reason to be worried.

'Tuney, you look beautiful,' Lily said truthfully, to her sister dressed in a slender white gown. 'Where are Mum and Dad?'

'They'll be coming in about an hour, they insisted on getting dressed at home. Look, let's get this over with. Vernon's waiting in here.' She ushered them quickly into a small room where a portly man with a very large moustache and an even larger stomach awaited. Lily caught James' eye and looked away to stop herself laughing.

'Vernon dear, this is Lily, my sister...and her friend.'

'James Potter.' James stepped forward ostentatiously and shook Vernon's hand. The man's small eyes narrowed at them as he flexed his chubby fingers, clearly crushed by James. _Men_, Lily thought with an exasperated sigh.

'Very nice to meet you, Vernon,' Lily said politely, 'Actually, James and I do have something very important to tell you.' Petunia moved to cover her face, backing away to the other side of the room.

'Well, let's not beat around the bush. Do you believe in magic?'

'Magic,' he looked to his fiancée, sniggering nervously, 'of course not! All that silly saw-a-man-in-half, fancy card trick malarkey-'

'Oh no!' Lily interrupted, 'That is a lot of trickery. We mean real magic...um...change-a-table-into-a-tree magic.'

'What? Petunia, what is this?' The man looked utterly perplexed. 'Magic is just bull made up to distract a couple o' kids.' He muttered under his breath, 'Change a table into a tree...honestly...'

'No, really.' James smirked, whipping out his wand. He promptly turned a low, coffee table into an apple and back with a lazy flick. Petunia screamed and Vernon fell over a chair in his haste to get away from them, shouting a stream of swears.

'Get out!' shrieked Petunia and Lily scampered out with James from the room. The door slammed shut behind them. James leant against the wall, grasping his sides as she shook with laughter.

Lily shushed him, covering her mouth to hide the snorts as she tried to listen through the door. The minutes passed and the door stayed shut, till about an half an hour later when Petunia burst through looking livid.

'Is everything alright?' Lily asked.

'There is still a wedding, if that's what you mean,' snapped Petunia, 'No thanks to _your lot.' _

'Excuse me, Petunia,' James began, heatedly, 'but this was completely necessary. Lily is your sister.'

Petunia, stared up at him, repulsion evident in her eye, as though magic was contagious. 'Yes, she is; meaning this is a family matter. Stay out of it.'

Lily shook her head James. It was futile, arguing with Petunia. 'Look, Petunia, we're sorry...but he had to know.' She cut Petunia off as she protested, 'Let's just leave it at that. We won't provoke him anymore.' She sent James a significant look. Petunia swept away from them. 'Tuney, isn't there anything we can do?'

Petunia glanced at her watch, 'Go home and tell Mum and Dad to hurry up.'

They stepped out to apparate. James caught Lily's arm.

'You shouldn't let her speak to you like that.'

'It's fine. I'm used to it...James please, just _leave it_.' She ignored his protests and spun on her heel.

* * *

Lily drifted between consciousness and impenetrable darkness...a Bang! Sterile white light blinded her.

'James?' she cried out desperately and felt comforting fingers close around hers. She tried to hold on tight but she was fading into the darkness again.

She stood before a pretty, little house, not unlike hers. It was night but the sky was lit but an ominous symbol above the cottage. A dark green skull stared down at her. A snake hissed, entwined it self around the skull in an alluring manner, its forked tongue flicked through the empty eye sockets.

'What a pretty mudblood.' The hiss rang through her ears till she burst into the white light again. Pain ripped through her as she cried out. Lily felt hands soothe her, stroking her hair, murmuring words of comfort she could not hear. Someone poured a cooling potion to ease the burning in her body and she fell into a troubled slumber...

* * *

_She stood next to James in front of her house. The back door lay open, burnt off its hinges. Lily turned to James in panic._

'_No,' she wailed. The devastating sound rent the air as she stumbled towards the house. James rushed to her, holding her back as she fought to get inside._

_He silenced her, 'Homenum Revelio.' She paused briefly, eyes scanning the house of movement before breaking James' grip on her arm._

'_Mum? Dad?' she screamed, as she desperately threw open doors. Tears fell rapidly as she staggered upstairs, tripping on the top step, ripping her dress. She crawled to their room, sobbing at the sight before her. _

'_No, no, no,' she cried at the sight of two bodies lying crumpled in the middle of the room. Her fathers figure lay on top of her mothers in an obvious attempt to protect her. Lily fell over them. They were still warm; their entwined in each others._

'_Mummy, please God. No!' she howled, shaking each piteously. Their faces were soft, eyes open yet gazing far, far past her. Her fingers traced their familiar features; her tears splashed on their skin, unbeknownst to them._

'_Daddy, wake up...please, please God. Don't do this to me,' she wailed._

'_Oh precious,' a high voice drawled from behind her. She turned weakly and her breath caught in her throat at the sight of a masked lady leaning gracefully on the dressing table. 'Did the pretty, little mudblood come home to find Mum and Dad had gone bye-bye?'_

_Lily was too weak to even protest. She let the tears fall and defiantly faced what would surely be death, gripping her parents. As the masked witch raised her wand, James burst into the room, blasting a banishing charm at her. The last thing Lily remembers is a flash of purple light speeding towards her and burning pain cleaving through her like hot knives._

* * *

The white light claimed her again. Lily gasped hoarsely. She appeared to be lying in the hospital wing. A familiar mop of black hair rested on her hand. He stirred at her sound.

'James,' she croaked, 'what happened? Why am I here?' He shushed her gently, swiping her hair plastered to her forehead in cold sweat. Madam Pomfrey bustled over to her and gently leant over her.

'Lily dear, how do you feel?' Why was everyone being so gentle and patronising to her. She tried to think past the dull, pounding pain that seemed to emanate from the very core of her body.

'Fine,' she lied through gritted teeth, 'Could you please tell me what's happening?' Lily kept asking till James gently knelt beside her. Madam Pomfrey sighed and left closing the curtains around her. Lily waited till the footsteps of the matron faded, till she turned to James.

'Lily, what is the last thing you can remember?' he asked, taking her hand in both of his.

'The last thing I can remember...is apparating from just outside the church grounds to my house? What...about Petunia's wedding? What happened?'

James sighed miserably, 'Yes, Lily, we apparated to your house...and...And the back door was broken-'

'What? No, that was just my dream.'

James looked completely broken as he shook his head sadly. The piercing shriek that followed broke the hearts of those who heard it. It couldn't be, yet it was...Lily was living her worst nightmare.

She doesn't know for how long she cried and moaned into James' shirt, only that Lily had fallen asleep in his arms, and that when she woke the next morning, before dawn the next day, he still cradled her.

He blearily opened his eyes as she stirred. Lily clung desperately to him as he made to move. She needed him. They didn't speak but sat in warm companionship watching the sun slowly rise.

Memory after memory of her parents flew through her mind; her mothers embrace, her fathers voice. Words from her mother's letters floated through her mind and fell quietly from her lips.

'And, I encouraged you to claim your life,

And fight like hell for your right to be,

And the best gift I could ever give you

was to say 'yes' to your dreams,

that were not my own.'

Never had Lily felt so lost, so helpless. A void seemed to open up within her. She pulled James around her more securely. It felt like she would simply melt away to nothing if he let go.

* * *

_I'm so Sorry. I feel like a complete bitch...cos the fluff in the last chapter was to give a false sense of security...but this chapter...it had to happen, for me. I hated having to writing it though...the part when she's in the house; I was crying. The words from her mothers letter; crying...don't know how JK does it._

_This chapter is dedicated to parents everywhere cos they are just super! _

_Disclaimer: The words from Lily's mother's letters: Extract from 'Passing' by Margeret Sloan-Hunter from 'My Daughter, My Joy' A book of quotes my parents got me._


	7. Ch 7: A Conversation

Ch. 7: A Conversation

Lily stood before the house, knowing very well she should have been there. James would be angry...if he found out. Her legs felt leaden and she didn't have the strength or the desire to walk up the ten feet to the door.

She lifted a trembling hand to the bell, when she finally reached the door. The door opened before she rang; just a crack and her sister slid out. Petunia snapped it shut behind her. She wasn't going to be invited in for tea.

'What do you want?' Petunia whispered hoarsely, crossing her arm tightly. Lily never noticed how tall her sister was.

'I just wanted to talk...why are we whispering?' Lily glanced around her, her hand reaching for her wand.

'Put that thing away!' whispered Petunia, more frantically, 'I don't want Vernon to know you are here. After everything you freaks have done, he's not particularly fond of you.'

'Petunia, you can't blame me for what happened. How could you even think that?'

'Well, let's see,' Petunia's voice rose to a shrill pitch, 'My mother and father are dead, and it certainly was not an accident.'

'Our parents' cried Lily, 'You seem to easily forget that I lost my parents too!' The door behind them banged open. At the sound, Lily pulled out her wand on instinct and directed it at the door. Vernon froze at the sight of her. A purple flush stained his flaccid cheeks and he stared, cross-eyed, at the harmless piece of wood pointed at his face.

'Put that _away_!' shrieked Petunia, wildly swinging her arm, too afraid to actually push Lily away. 'Vernon, go inside. I need to speak with my _sister_.'Petunia straightened and determinedly avoided looking at neither Lily nor Vernon. Vernon cast one murderous glance at Lily and disappeared.

'Tuney, please, we have to talk –'

'You are not to come visit me any more. You will stay away from my family' Petunia said coldly, still not looking at Lily. Only the tears that glittered in her eyes gave away any emotion.

'I can protect you,' Lily tried again, stubbornly; 'We are sisters. You're the only family I have left.' Petunia finally looked at Lily with downhearted sigh.

'Like you protected, Mum and Dad?' With that, Petunia swung around and disappeared after her husband.

* * *

_I'm so sorry I took this long to update...if people are still interested I'm really willing to go on with the story. I know this is quite a short one but please PLEASE REVIEW!! :)_


	8. Ch 8: A Shameful Musing

****

Ch. 8: A Shameful Musing

Lily stood paralysed, fixated on the two coffins before her. They held things (or people, she wasn't sure which) that were dear to her. She stood not ten feet away from the coffins and yet the distance spread before her like a canyon.

So very close, yet so far away. The irony stung.

It was a small service, attended only by Vernon, Petunia, James and herself. The unease between the sisters was sorely felt. Neither acknowledged each other. Not that either sister was aware, each lost in thought and grief.

To Lily, the monotonous voice of the priest was oddly soothing, wrapping her in a fog of thoughts. Nothing was clear. Nothing was real. Focusing on elementary senses overwhelmed her. Oddly, Lily focused on the trees in the distance...A part of her wanted to despair for them. In the height of spring, the fresh leaves danced...but she knew they would die; crushed mercilessly by their brothers and sisters; one by one, they too will fall.

She hiccoughed and wiped away tears that fell. Lily was crying for the trees...not for her parents. Lily had no reason to cry for her parents. Those things, for that was all the coffins contained, were not her parents.

She could still recall the stubborn set in her mothers jaw, the determined, perseverance in her fathers' eyes, and the memories of the happy home that they created for her. It was enough, for now. Her parents lived, by their characteristics, by their traits, in the values that they had nurtured in their daughter.

Lily stirred from one foot to the other. The trees seemed different. The leaves will indeed die, but they would in turn feed the new shoots...reincarnated the following spring. Lily chuckled at her ineffectiveness, feeling her chest constrict. The chuckle broke into a sob, breaking the silence that had fallen over the group. She covered her mouth, desperate to silence her blunder.

James' arm slid around her, holding her shaking body. From crying or laughing she couldn't tell. Lily didn't want him there...James wasn't enough. The crushing reality suffocated her. Those weren't things. They were her parents, and she needed them. She needed the whiff of her mothers' perfume. She needed the safety of her fathers' arms. The memories were not enough.

* * *

_Please Review...this is like the second installment of ch. 7...PLEASE REVIEW...all your comments are appreciated!_


	9. Ch 9: A Night time Wandering

**Courage is not the Absence of Fear**

**Chapter 9: A Night time Wandering**

There is a saying, Lily recalled, that nothing is infinite, not even loss. Often, she felt it was an oversimplification, but in the weeks following her parents' funeral, these words kept coming back to her.

It had felt like her world had come crashing down on her, the world continued to turn on its' axis. Though the minutes stood still as she tossed and turned at night, the weeks flew past, hurtling them towards their final NEWT exams

Channelling her grief into work was as good an idea as any. When painful memories threatened to overwhelm her, she focused on repeating arithmancy equations, or her non-verbal charms, till the panic passed.

That March was particularly warm, and one stifling, still night, Lily grew tired of lying in her four poster bed, willing sleep to come. She rose, took her wand, wrapped her dressing gown around her and tiptoed out of her dormitory, as to not disturb the other girls.

Down in the Gryffindor common room, she could barely see in front of her by the light of the dying embers in the fire grate and the shaft of moonlight that fell from a nearby window. Lily hadn't given much thought to what she was going to do once she had gotten out of bed. She had a sudden urge to creep up to James' dorm, and curl up next to him, to feel his arms around her, his breath against her neck, but there was no way she could without waking up every other man in that dorm. The thought of James, brought with it another one. James knew an awful lot about secret passages around the school. They had ducked into countless hidden alcoves, and behind dozens of faded tapestries to share kisses. Lily had always been a bit preoccupied to notice her surroundings much then. (James' lips had a tendency to make her brain stand still, sometimes; a fact which caused her both great giddiness and annoyance.)

In the dark of the night, Lily had the freedom to explore these mysterious corridors. The portrait hole called to her. If she was caught, she would be in serious trouble, but far from dissuading her, it thrilled her. Wrapping the belt of her dressing gown more firmly, she resolutely strode to the portrait hole and stepped out.

The castle was quieter than Lily had ever noticed before. Even during their prefect duties, teachers were still awake, and since she had not been breaking as rules then, she had been so keenly aware of her surroundings. Turning to her right, she walked down the corridor, keeping to the shadows. Lily smiled as she caught her reflection on a painting of a snoozing wizard. She felt adventurous and utterly mischievous. She had clearly been spending far too much time with the marauders recently. There happened to a hidden passage not far from the portrait hole, and Lily made her way towards it.

Pushing aside the tapestry of Ulrich the Odd Ball, Lily whispered "Lumos," and stepped into the corridor. It looked disused, with cobwebs hanging from empty torch brackets. Her slippers stuck to the dusty, filthy flagstones. There wasn't much to see on the walls, but Lily figured that it must lead somewhere and kept on her way.

Some while further, the passage split into two. The floor sloped up on the right and one the left, the floor fell away steeply into darkness. She turned to the right and ascended. Out of the darkness loomed a low wooden doorway. Lily approached it cautiously and felt around for a handle and hit upon a brass knocker. It felt too rusted to turn, and Lily did not wish to give herself tetanus for the sake of adventure.

Then suddenly, Lily realised she could hear voices risen in agitation. The source of the voices seemed to be, oddly, coming from somewhere near her feet. Crouching down, she wiped the cobwebs away from the wall to reveal a grate. She pressed her eye against it, and saw a brightly lit room. It was a well-furnished room, with a lot of table legs. With a jolt, Lily recognised Professor Dumbledores' voice over several other voices.

"It will not help us, my dear comrades, to fight amongst ourselves, especially not in time when we have such foes to conquer," his voice rang out. The other voices subsided. "Now, Minerva, we have not received any new information to cause Hogwarts any harm. It is my belief that as long as I remain here, the Death Eaters will not think of breaching our boundaries."

"Albus, there is no way to know what the Death Eaters are thinking!" came the voice of Minerva Mcgonagall, "Even, if we are safe while you are here, as you say, what are we supposed to do when you are not? Caradoc, Fabian and Gideon help patrol our corridors too, but there is no way to keep watch over nearly 800 children!"

Some seemed to be moving around the round, and they came to a stop in front of Lilys grate, then everything went quiet, as though a silencing charm had been placed over it. Lily stood up abruptly. How could they have sensed that she was there? With her heart hammering in her chest, she hurried back to the Gryffindor common room.

They mentioned the Death Eaters, patrolling Hogwarts, and Fabian and Gideon; undoubtedly the Prewett brothers who had graduated a couple of years ago. Lily couldn't make head or tail of the situation. She seemed to have a stumbled into a situation far greater and more dangerous than she had ever anticipated.

* * *

_Thank you so much for reading this chapter. Please do **review**! I love to hear your feedback and it greatly helps me improve my writing - for which is my only outlet! :)_


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